I drank more lemonade even though it was getting worse by the sip. If our relationship can survive a breakup, it can survive anything.” “This would be the most challenging thing. “I love you too,” she said, but she was looking at my large nose. “That sounds nice and all, but I think instead of challenge, we should enjoy it.” “Before this restaurant closes let’s do something insane.” She stared at me hard. And you know how I hate the word genuine, so you can be sure I’m really being genuine.” Not just of our relationship but of everything. And I genuinely am excited for the next 3 years. “I don’t particularly like when you’re sarcastic you know. “To another 3 years of magic,” I said while raising my sweet lemonade. "Do you think 3 is a magic number" she asked me. We sat in that silence for a while with nothing much to ponder. “He was a guy in magic school bus I think.” “Well I do,” she said, mashing another meatball in her mouth. “I don’t know if that’s fair,” I said with a sneeze. “I think it’s great more people talk about mental health.” Sometimes I felt like a bungling clown talking to her. Once I decided to take my mind off the overly sweet lemonade, I tossed my face back into conversation. When I ask her, "how did you sleep" she always says something like, "I slayed a dragon and drowned 3 times so you tell me.” And sometimes I wonder if everything she says is serious or if nothing is. I always enjoy being with her, but sometimes I’m not sure how she wants me to respond. Joan hadn’t slept much the past week, which made her a little more talkative than normal. Sometimes the tables are clean, and sometimes you rest your elbows on the table, and you’ve got sticky elbows the rest of the day. I expect consistency from outdoor cafes, but you don’t get that here. The lemonade was sweeter than I remembered. But don’t get me started on mental health.” It’s like, you can just say you’re rich, that’s okay.” Like Fran took me out to dinner one night, and I was like - this is so expensive - and she was like it’s fine I have a gift card. “People always act like it’s not real money. My lemonade came, which was the highlight of the evening. Something like that would be irrevocable no matter the intention.” You could push me over right now - right as I’m talking - you could yank my shirt off and grope me here in front of everyone, or punch me, and it wouldn’t even have to be bad intention you could just do it to see what would happen. There’s no way we would stay together after that." It would be so easy for me to just dump your lemonade on you, spit on you, and start screaming, "He raped me, he raped me!" It would cause something so different in our relationship. “I think I’ll ask for more lemonade.” Her eye contact was so intense I should have brought an extra shirt. “Do you ever think how easily one of us could ruin things,” she said. Maybe back then I would have had a job and some friends. Whenever she said boy do I, I felt like I was in the 1920's. I think I would have done well back then. “You don’t have to picture my throat if you don’t want to.” When I picture your throat, I picture there being a bunch of bug bites on it.” She threw two meatballs into her mouth before telling me what she thought about the way I coughed. Argue about things that were already solved. The conversation lasted surprisingly long staying on the same subject, which I didn’t think either one of us was all that interested in. “Anybody can prove anything, but how can you truly know anything for yourself unless you go out and experience it yourself.” “But have you yourself proven it?” she asked. “It’s not flat, that’s been proven,” I said as if I were adding to the conversation. I had never heard this much emotion in her voice our entire relationship. If you'd like to buy a painting or framed drawing, send me an email. And thanks so much for reading and watching my stuff. I'm working on some other scripts and longer-term projects and such, but you probably don't care about that. But in the meantime, subscribe to my email bomb for more immediate updates if you'd like. Knowing myself, I will end up not following this and will continue to write new stories and poems here. You can also follow me on Instagram where I'll post short clips from live sets and last minute show updates.and 2023 dates for my other shows will be announced soon on ig and mailing list Live Shows-I am working on a new hour-long stand up show-see where I'll be performing next HERE. Feature Film Mechanical Bulls-i co-wrote it last year, directed it this summer, and now am currently editing it, will submit to festivals and host screenings in NYC TBA 2023 hopefully I am letting you know that I will probably not be publishing new short stories here for the next several months because I will be more focused on some longer projects including:
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